Family pressures 23-year-old to buy her 26-year-old sister's all white furniture that she doesn't want: 'They think I’m a bad sister for refusing to help out my sister before a big move abroad'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jun 30, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

There are many things I would love to get for free. Give me a poorly printed tote bag at a street fair any day of the week. I love to eat the butternut squash pasta that my roommate was planning on throwing out. I will grab something from a clothing swap that I'm unsure about, because it doesn't take up that much room in my closet anyway. I would gladly accept free tickets to a play that's not particularly great. Free stuff that you don't want that much in the first place is a net positive when it doesn't take up that much time or space. Free furniture that you don't want is a hassle, because you have to find someone else who wants it and use a ton of space for it in the meantime. A free couch that's deeply wanted and needed is a blessing: a free couch that's unwanted is a curse. 

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  • The woman in this story is trying to force her sister to take her all-white furniture, even though she doesn't want it because she has a dog that would quickly dirty it. Despite that, she and the woman and her whole family won't budge on the furniture issue.

  • 01

    AITA for refusing to buy my sisters furniture

    123f just closed on my first apartment and will be getting the keys on August first. Since buying my apartment I have been looking at furniture and figuring out what I want to buy. My older sister 26f got a job abroad and is moving in august so she is trying to sell her furniture before moving. Since I just got an
    via u/Particular-Donkey659
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10523032320
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 03
    apartment and need furniture and my sister is moving and trying to sell her furniture our family figured it is perfect. I buy from her for lower than average price and furniture only used since December and my sister has one less thing to worry about because of the move. Here is the problem
    via u/Particular-Donkey659
  • 04
    BEDROOM KITCH
    via Faruk Tokluoğlu (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 05
    I don't want her furniture. My sister bought all white. White couch, arm chairs, lounge chairs and white dining chairs. I have a dog, that for the past two years since I got him has been allowed on the furniture, I would also constantly be panicked about a potential spill on white furniture. I
    via u/Particular-Donkey659
  • 06
    Cheezburger Image 10523040512
    via Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 07
    tried to explain this to my family but they just think I'm an a_h_le for refusing to help out my sister before a big move abroad, and I could really use an unbiased opinion. So AITA for refusing to buy my sisters furniture Sorry for any spelling errors English is my second language and I have dyslexia
    via u/Particular-Donkey659
  • 08
    kathop8 NTA families are weird, especially when they think they have a 'solution'. Buy the furniture you like, period. Make sure they know you're actually doing your sister a favor, because now she can sell her white stuff for more $$$ to a stranger.
    via u/kathop8
  • 09
    k23_k23 "Make sure they know you're actually doing your sister a favor, because now she can sell her white stuff for more $$$ to a stranger." .. that's exactly the point. A stranger probably would pay 300$ total - white, used furiture does not resell well - you see EVERY little stain and damage. They figure they can stick up OP for much more than they could get from someone else.
    via u/k23_k23
  • 10
    Sepelrastas Jesus, a lot of people I know just gives their old stuff for free if it's going to family or even friends of family. Used furniture isn't that easy to offload here (a lot of consignment stores etc won't accept furniture at all due to space and places like FB markets are buyer's market due to that). Recycling furniture is costly and troublesome. I got a lot of free stuff both times I moved.
    via u/Sepelrastas
  • 11
    White is an awful color for furniture. I'd never have a light color couch, armchair, whatever. I don't even particularly like white cabinets. Every bit of dirt is just so visible. Too bad sis picked furniture that's unsellable.
    via u/Sepelrastas
  • 12
    Emotional-Hair-1607 When my kid was 10 I figured that was old enough to buy a beige couch. A few weeks later she had friends for a sleepover. Months later when I happened to flip one of the cushions and found a big stain from that night.
    via u/Emotional-Hair-1607
  • 13
    FuturePurple7802 NTA First of all, big congratulations on your first apartment!! Your family has no say in this. Buy what YOU want. If your sister is moving abroad then it is her responsibility to arrange things to make sure she can move. Not yours.
    via u/FuturePurple7802
  • 14
    Particular-Donkey659 OP Thank you
    via u/Particular-Donkey659
  • 15
    Mysterious-Wish8398 Yes, just don't give ANYONE a key until this is over. Just in case they decide to "help" by moving the stuff for you...
    via u/Mysterious-Wish8398
  • 16
    Alternative-Many3523 I don't understand their point, to be honest. So you're supposed to buy something that you don't want and don't like, and that will likely cost you not a small amount of money, and that you will have to live with for years to come ... just so your sister has it a bit easier? And you refusing to do so makes you an a_h_le? No, it doesn't. NTA, and then some.
    via u/Alternative-Many3523
  • 17
    nervelli That might be a pretty clear response to the family. "If I liked her furniture that would be a great solution, but I don't. You want me to spend my money on something I don't want in order to make her life a little easier? Where do I benefit?"
    via u/nervelli
  • 18
    JBWilb It's like parents who still think the kids are 6 and can solve their problems by making their siblings share or give things up etc etc You don't want a green plate? well here your sister has a red one and she won't mind using the green one. Problem solved except it's always the one making the "fuss" that benefits and the other just has to go along with having their stuff switched. And if they say no they get punished, your being r de to your sister! Don't be so selfish etc etc This is the
    via u/JBWilb
  • 19
    KrofftSurvivor NTA How long has your family been acting like it's your responsibility to play mommy for your older sister? You just got your own place. She's moving overseas. Tell them flat out no, with no explanation whatsoever, at any point in time that this is brought up, and every single time that this is brought up. And then walk away.
    via u/KrofftSurvivor
  • 20
    Is it a text? Send the word no and block them for twelve hours. Is it a phone call? Say No, hang up, and ignore their calls for twelve hours. Are you somewhere with them in person? Say no and leave. Are they in your house? Say no, and tell them it's time for them to leave.
    via u/KrofftSurvivor
  • 21
    PerniciousVim Also: White furniture!! UGH. I had a white couch, very briefly. Everything shows, you don't even have to wait for actual staining. White couches get a version of ring-around-the-collar almost instantly, with dirty seams and scuffs. OP's instinct on this is correct.
    via u/PerniciousVim
  • 22
    Echo9111960 NTA Do not let fam coerce you into buying your sister's hand me downs. I am 64, widowed for 3 years. I had a bedbug. infestation and had to get rid of anything upholstered.
    via u/Echo9111960
  • 23
    I'm looking at it as a blessing. This is the first time in my life I am choosing what will be in my home. If I don't love it, it doesn't belong here. Don't force yourself to accept stuff you don't want. I've always felt like such an imposter wherever I lived - it wasn't my stuff.
    via u/Echo9111960
  • 24
    Worried Suit4820 Why does your family want to make life easier for your sister at the cost of making your life more difficult? Something of an imbalance there...
    via u/Worried_Suit4820
  • 25
    CaroSCP You buy it, she returns from abroad and expects you to give it back to her....
    via u/CaroSCP

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